Another Angry Rant

Today was almost a complete bust.
I got only 6 hours of sleep (after a mere 5 hours and interrupted ones at that yesterday).
I joined Weight Watchers last night, so today was my first day on it. I am severely aggravated by the stress of counting points for everything I eat, everything I want to eat etc. I was dreaming about counting points last night >_<" Which did not make my 6 hours very restful.
I started the day with a huge but healthy breakfast (WW recommended) consisting of 1 whole egg, one egg white omelet with 1/4 cup fresh mushroom, 1 yogurt, 1 cup fruit (honeydew melon), and 1 cup of tea (7 PTs).
Then I fed Joshua cereal, today he ate a whole Tablespoon (mixed with formula). He was trying to help me feed him by grabbing the spoon, pushing my hand (w/ spoon) towards his mouth and sticking his hand in the bowl LOL! That was fun.
I left the house @ 930 AM, hit the bank and headed out to LI to Walmart. I tried to return something, I even had a receipt but they wouldn't take it back! GRRRRR. So I had to carry the offending item (quite heavy) plus baby (in baby carrier) plus diaper bag TWICE to get it back to the truck. Now I have an item that is useless to me. I wish they would let me return it, so I could put the balance towards a crib mattress. Now that, I need. Stupid fucking Walmart.
I drove around a bit, then parked and fed Joshua, we played in the truck for a bit till 1130 AM, and headed over to Erik's job. We were supposed to have lunch at 12 Noon like usual (our new Wednesday ritual). But (long story short) it got delayed until nearly 2 PM!!
I loved lunch (subways) I had a footlong sub (because by that time I was starving) with grilled chicken, lettuce, cucumber, a tad light mayo, a tad honey mustard and mozzarella cheese on Whole Grain Honey Oat bread (9 PTs). I also loved spending time with Erik. I am just pissed that we didn't eat till fucking 2 PM, WTH!!!
Joshua was mega fussy almost all day, like he has been every other day for the past 2 weeks (I HATE TEETHING!!!).
I got home around 3. Spent about 1/2 hour on the phone with Grandma in AZ :) Always love talking to her. I try to call her once a week. Although I feel like an asshole.. I owe her pictures of Joshua BIG TIME. *sigh* add it to my never-ending "To-Do-ASAP" List -_-!!!
Mimi & Mom got home and I thought "oh great, I need a nap". Nope. Mom took a nap. Mimi went on the computer. I took Joshua for a walk for an hour and we hung out at the park and scared away all the Au Pair Nannies by breastfeeding in public *whoot*. So tired. So unfair :(
I get back and all now I'm REALLY tired because of the walk ontop of already having been tired and all I wanted was a nap but since I'm wide awake (from walking of course) I figured hey I'll ask mom to watch Joshua and I'll go relax by myself for a little, maybe hop on the computer. Nope. Mimi comes down complaining she needs the computer to do HW. Mom takes him for 5min and then starts complaining she has to go to the bank. Shoot me.
I stuck him in the bassinet and let him cry for 20min. I just couldn't deal with the megga cranky anymore I wanted to scream. Finally I gave up and cuddled him a little, then I fed him so he'd take a nap. Success. Thank god.
The good news is that the people seem to be moving. Which means my time here is limited. Yay.
The bad news is that I still don't have a job. So I have no idea what we are going to do when I move. I've definitely over-stayed my welcome here. And I can't stand being here anymore. But at the same time, I'm screwed. I KNOW Erik doesn't make enough to support the 3 of us. After rent & car insurance he has $100 left for himself for the week..... how is that going to buy groceries for the both of us, diapers, wipes, etc.????????????
So now my brain has gone back to stressing (of course). Because what better time to stress myself than when I'm already angry, stressed, cranky, over-tired and frustrated to all hell with how cranky and fussy my son is being.
Just bought the mattress for Joshua's crib (finally), so that's $60 *gone*. I still need sheets for that mattress. He still doesn't have much in the way of winter cloths 9-12mo, and still needs a snow suit.
Oh yeah, I still need winter cloths + a coat and boots and let's not forget that Erik needs jeans/work pants, sweat pants and boots.

I very distinctly remember being told that if I am this frustrated to hand the baby to someone or put him down somwhere safe and walk away. So why will no-one take him for 20 min and if I put him down for a nap for some peace of mind I'm going to hear shit about "how long is she going to let him nap for?"

Did I mention that I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE a shower? Because I haven't gotten to take one and that's just disgusting.. why you ask? Because at night when he's sleeping all I can think of is SLEEEEEEEP and in the morning NO ONE IS HERE or if they are here they complain to all hell that they're busy and can't watch him. If I put him in the bouncer in the bathroom with me he screams the whole time.


AAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGG!!!!!!!!!