Rant: No Happiness for Moi

Tuesday March 9th; We are 26 Weeks Pregnant ~ 98 Days Left!

No Happiness For Moi (Warning: This is a Rant!)

I've been miserable just sitting around. I miss my BF, I miss my home, I miss working..

It's been so nice out and I just haven't been motivated to go out all alone.
Today I finally found something to do, visit a local friend of mine :)
We got some pizza, went for a walk, went to the park and just enjoyed the nice weather (he played ball while I watched lol). I was in a pretty good mood. But of course there is no happiness for Moi....

Got two tickets.. not one two! One for "expired inspection" which I didn't even realize was expired! One for "improperly displayed license plate" OH YEAH I'm going to get down on the ground with a drill and fix the damn thing!!???!!!"

AND THEN I notice I have missed calls from BF... so I call him back. Apparently he was in the neighborhood and stopped at my parents to visit me but when I didn't answer the phone he left. When I heard that I wanted to scream or cry or both.. I miss him so desperately. All I want is to spend 5min with him. The ONE day I finally have someone to hangout with and something to do... I missed the opportunity to see BF... :'(

I also feel HORRIBLE because I know he misses me too... and he sat in front of my parents for 20 min waiting to see me... and had to leave w/o. I kept apologizing and he told me "don't worry about it" but I still feel horrible..

Any happiness I gained from going out... ruined. I feel worse then I did when I woke up this morning w/ nothing to do. :(

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-----------------> UPDATE <-------------- _______________________________
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So I told BF earlier that I'd call later, so I called at 10 like I have most evenings. To talk for a little while and then to say goodnight. He isn't feeling good so he's kind of out of it. And I get the impression even though he keeps telling me "its OK don't worry about it" that he's pissed about this afternoon. Plus he worked all day so he's tired. It's really not his fault. It's probably an emotional over-reaction (thanks extra preggo hormones!) but I need to rant!!!!

He barely said anything to me. I tried chatting with him a little he kind of just brushed me off. Even talking about the baby didn't get his attention. He had offered to come tomorrow to visit like last week. I just asked if he was still feeling up to it. He says yes then just spaces back out when I asked if he was interested in home-made dinner... Then he just turns around and goes "uh I'll talk to you tomorrow Goodnight"

I miss the ability to talk to him to cuddle up under his chin when I need that quick comfort.
I've been miserable w/o it. But talking to him on the phone's been like a life-line between his visits. I really feel alone now :( It feel like he doesn't even want to talk to me.

I was finally in a better mood earlier... then got upset over the whole bad crap this afternoon. But was looking forward to the phone call like sunrise for my day. well i guess it's gonna be a rainy day.. no sun.

So he's sitting home watching tv in lala land. I"m at mom's crying, hating idk everything.

Worst of all I was trying to talk to him about L&D cus I'm so scared of it.. his answer "has it happened yet? No? Then don't worry about it!". All he had to say was "it'll be OK" even if it wasn't the truth lol