So Bummed... Dad hates the name...

(May 3rd 2010)

I'm so bummed out I feel like crying which isn't like me at all.

SO picked out a name MONTHS ago, long before we even know boy or girl... back when we were still going through morning sickness and telling family that we were even expecting. I fell in love with the name he chose and we've been calling the baby that and telling everyone that will be his name soon all along. The name is "Joshua Scott". Now the middle name is my Father's first name. SO wanted to give my dad the honor, since it's his first grand-child & because my dad and I have had a really rocky relationship for years and finally worked out alot of isues and started to really get along. I love the idea of using my dads name.

Here is the problem.. It's really not a "jewish" thing to name a baby after the living it's considered a "bad omen"; we are supposed to name after the people who have passed on as a way to "remember" them. Most of my family has kind of come around and accepted that this is the name we have chosen. I have been keeping it a secret from my dad because I was really excited to *surprise* him.
My paternal grandmother strongly suggested to me last night that I discuss it with my father & make sure he won't be upset by the idea.

So this morning over breakfast I brough it up. My dad is not a religious man, and I thought he would be OK with this. I guess I was wrong. He is pretty upset that I'd rather name my son after him than my paternal grandfather (who passed away last year). And won't talk about it with me anymore.

IDK what to do. Part of me wanted to name the baby after my grandfather, accept that I hate hate hate his name! :\ Honoring my father made me so happy and excited, SO loves the idea he has been INSISTING on it. I'm so lost, I don't want to try to honor my dad and just push him away... we only just started to get along!
He also turned me down when I asked him about being in the room for the delivery (he doesnt want to be there and his response was "come the time you'll want your mother").

:( I am really at a loss for what to do. And I'm afraid to bring it up with SO because (1) he loves the name (2) I really do love the name and (3) we've already been calling this baby that name for MONTHS... it just doesnt seem right to change it NOW..

I feel almost heart-broken that he feels so dead-set against using his name.